Choices
by bibliophyle
Summary: It's Bella's nineteenth birthday and time has run out for Edward.Will he keep his promise?Will he let Bella make her own choices? Featuring SweetJake! non dangerous gift wrap and the return of Bella's motorbike! CHAPTER 4 UP PEOPLE!
1. Unhappy Birthday

Disclaimer- I own nothing associated or affiliated with Twilight.These are the property of Stephenie Meyer and no copyright or offense is intended.You can't sue me for the inner-worst workings of my mind.Honest.

Choices by Twynstar

I awoke on the morning of my nineteenth birthday...alone. Edward wasn't there.

Not ' wasn't there' in the sense that he was gone, just not there like he usually was, In my bedroom, ready to welcome me back to the land of the conscious and stop me falling out of bed. I sighed and rolled over, pulling the covers back over my head. I was never ready to face the world on my birthday and this one was going to be a killer. My head hurt and I had uneasy memories of dreams and nightmares that had passed the night before. I groaned. God knows what I said this time but I'm sure he would have taken it as a literal interpretation not to go through with 'IT.'

'IT' being my expectant transformation to immortality.

Edward and I had a silent agreement not to mention 'IT' these past weeks leading up to my birthday. I wanted to, obviously I was concerned he wasn't going to follow through with it. Well, I was right wasn't I? Yet I have never been more desperate for him to prove me wrong. He'd been stewing for weeks, growing tenser as my birthday approached. I wasn't the only one who noticed. It wasn't in Edward's nature to sulk or be sullen but he would withdraw to his thoughts and exclude all and everyone else around him. I guess that can come across as sulky sometimes. He'd stopped coming around so much lately. Now that school was over and he wasn't picking me up and driving me home some days his visits would be strictly nocturnal, even prompting Charlie to ask if we'd had a falling out. I 'd seen the fear flash in his eyes as he thought of the last time we'd had a 'falling out.' Even Emmett jokingly asked when I'd be returning Edward to the land of the "Undead but still bearable." Rosalie slapped him upside the head.

The Cullens knew what was going on and I was grateful to them for taking a spectator approach. I don't think I could have coped with too much involvement. Except for Alice. Frequently I found myself at their home in her bedroom or the backyard, spilling my heart open to my lover's sister, my best friend, confiding my fears and apprehensions. She was so good. She made me laugh and stroked my hair when I cried. It seemed to be easier for all of them lately, having me around. I don't know if it was simply something they just get used to or if they were putting in extra effort because they knew what was coming. Or should have been coming.

Edward had begged. He'd reasoned. He'd argued and he'd fumed. He couldn't understand why it couldn't wait a little longer."Please," I'd said, "A little longer for you means I'll be fifty. No thank you. Besides I could die tying up a shoelace tomorrow anyway. We agreed, nineteen and not a day over. You promised."

I sighed and rolled over under the blankets again. It was getting hot and stuffy under there but I wasn't ready to come out yet. I wasn't supposed to be breathing today at all. Pretty obscure demand, huh? To die. I'm sure I'm not the only person who ever wanted to die on their birthday but honestly... 'Honey what do you want for you birthday?" "Oh nothing too special, just for you to kill me so I can spend eternity with you." I giggled at the absurdity of it all.

"I told you she was awake!" A voice outside my bedroom door startled me. I frowned, I hadn't heard anyone come in downstairs... I peeked out.

And was met with a chorus of "Happy Birthdays!" before my bedroom was systematically invaded by four vampires bearing gifts.

"Guys," I croaked out, my voice was still sleep fuzzy, "I told you I didn't want anything." What a big fat lie my head told itself. It's just the vampire who can give it to you isn't here and probably won't give it up anyway.

"Nonsense,"Alice sat herself down and wrapped me in her sweet smelling arms, holding me close. "Everyone gets gifts on their birthday!" She pulled back and grinned at me. "Carlisle and Esme said to stop by the house later, they want to see you." The thought of Esme's kind, motherly face cheered me and simultaneously stabbed through my heart as I thought of my own mother, thousands of miles away.

A box was shoved in my face. "And look, no dangerous paper!" Emmett was gleeful. Rosalie smacked him. Again.

"Don't be so insensitive," she scowled at him.

I risked at peek at Jasper. Sitting in Edward's usual rocking chair in the corner. He rolled his eyes and grinned back at me. Looks like all was forgiven and forgotten as far as my last birthday was concerned.

It was then I noticed them all looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to open my presents. I also noticed how immaculately gorgeous they all were with even the seemingly smallest amount of effort. Ok, I know it's a supernatural thing but it was still daunting being surround by such effortless beauty.

I was still in my pyjamas. With bed hair and a fuzzy mouth. I sighed and shook my head. Today was looking great.

They all looked confused and I realized they thought they'd done something wrong. I opened my mouth to digress when suddenly Jasper was there, enfolding me in the gentlest of embraces, his breath tickling my ear as he whispered soothingly to me. "It's ok, he'll come around. He loves you. We love you." I bit back tears as waves of tranquility and love washed over me. Sometimes Jasper was like every kind of drug you wanted. Without hardly even moving he was back in the chair and Alice had taken his place, her arm around my shoulder and lips on my forehead. I sniffled. "Sorry." I whispered lamely.

"Nothing to be sorry about," Alice squeezed me tight and then jumped to her feet. "We'll leave you now to open your gifts. Oh, we brought Charlie's up too. It was on the kitchen table." She pointed out a garish pink monstrosity that looked like he'd wrapped it with his feet. I winced. Emmett laughed before leaning over and giving me a bone crushing hug. Jasper just waved as he walked out the door but Rosalie stopped and ran her hand though my hair smiling warmly at me. I smiled back. One final kiss from Alice and I was alone again. House devoid of the undead and supernatural once again that day. But not for long.

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I was in the kitchen having a late breakfast and musing over my gifts (An alarm clock from Charlie-I'd sent the previous one crashing against the wall during a nightmare when Edward was out hunting one night, books and cd's from Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett and a music box from Esme and Carlisle) when someone knocked at the front door. My heart instantly leapt into my mouth and then back down again. Edward doesn't knock on the front door. He climbs through windows or sneaks up on you when he knows you're alone. I sighed and made my way to the door, opening it wearily. Where my heart jumped straight back into my mouth.

Jacob Black was standing on my doorstep. Ebony hair, copper skin, flashing white teeth that reminded me so much of...

Jacob Black was on my doorstep? This is not happening. This was against all the rules, the treaty. As far as the Werewolves were concerned I was a vampire lover and this was vampire territory. Jacob Black was not allowed here, just as I was also persona non grata down at La Push. Not to mention last time I saw Jake he and Edward nearly got into a brawl.

He was looking at me funny, no doubt because I was standing there in my pyjamas with my mouth hanging open. Had to say something before my brain overloaded.

"I'm not dressed!"

He laughed. "I can see that Bells. But it's ok, you're allowed to wear whatever you want on your birthday. Even if it's pyjamas."

I blushed.

"So...are you gonna ask me in or something?"

I frowned."Sure Jake, but first of all are you allowed here? Second, what the hell are you doing here!"

He laughed at my bluntness."Can't a guy come visit his best friend on her birthday?"

My gaze softened. "Of course," I whispered before I stepped forward and was locked in his arms. He was warm. And he smelt like salt, the beach. I missed the beach. Once again, off limits for me. He bent down and rested his cheek against my hair, breathing me in.

"God I've missed you Bells," his voiced sounded cracked and he pulled away grinning sheepishly.

"Me too." I grinned back.

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We were sitting on Charlie's back porch drinking coke. Me and the werewolf.

"How's Billy?" I asked tentatively. His reaction was the one I was fearing the most when he found out Jake had come to visit me.

"He's fine. He said to wish you a happy birthday." He grinned at me.

I nearly choked on my drink. "Billy knows you're here?"

Jacob leaned over and squeezed my arm reassuringly. "Things are changing around here Bells, slowly, but still. And even if they weren't, nothing could have stopped me coming to see my best friend on her birthday." He paused. " Especially while she's still alive."

I froze, then swallowed slowly, my mind racing. Careful Bella, don't make the hormonal teenaged werewolf angry...

Too late. Jake sprang to his feet and began pacing the yard, a careful distance from me."I was hoping it wasn't true."

"Jake, it's complicated..."

"No it's not! Living or dead! Two completely separate things Bells! You'll end up dead soon enough, why now?"

"Who told you this?" I demanded.

"These things get around in our 'community,'" he sneered. I didn't like him angry, it made him cruel. Made him say things he wouldn't usually. He stopped pacing and came to stand in front of me, his hand resting on the sides of my chair. "I can smell them on you." He made a disgusted sound and went back to pacing." You already smell dead."

"Jake, sit down and I'll explain," I attempted to placate him.

"I don't want an explanation!" He growled."I want to why!"

"Why? You want to know why I would choose to die? Why I would give up my life, my family, my friends? Why I would never stand in the sun again and never feel warm? Why I would hunt wild animals and spend eternity suppressing the natural urge to kill and murder! Why else Jacob, why do you think!"

He stopped pacing and looked my levelly in the eye. "You love him."

"I love him."

Jake sighed and sat back down next to me. His breath was ragged and his eyes dark. I reached for him and he jerked away."Just, don't touch me for a minute. It can get hard to distinguish your scent from theirs and I wouldn't want to hurt you."

I tried to conceal the hurt in my eyes. This wasn't my Jake. I sighed and tried a different tack.

"I've been dead for awhile Jake. I've spent too long already in the company of the dead. I love Edward and everything in life and living pales in comparison to that love. I can't go back, I've already left too much behind." I was surprised at how resolute and calm I sounded saying this out loud for the first time. I'd never voiced these thoughts with Edward. I don't know why. Maybe i should. I just sensed Jake needed to hear this right now.

"Billy's not gonna like this."

"Billy doesn't have to. But what will he do about it? Kill me? Or is that what you're here to do?"

He glared at me ,outraged."I could have killed you a dozen time over already Bells, remember that. So don't push me."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't give me that Jacob Black. You would never hurt me. Intentionally anyway."

"Then why did you ask me?"

"Because I think you needed to hear it yourself, right?" He was looking at me, his expression unreadable before shaking his head and smiling wryly. He seemed to be alright now. Just...weary. I knew how he felt.

"Quit with the psychobabble mindfuck stuff, Bells. I liked you better making reckless decisions and sneaking around behind Charlie's back. Which reminds me..." He grinned suddenly and jumped up, pulling me to my feet in the process.

"What?"

"Your birthday present!"

I groaned. "Oh, Jake no, I don't want anything."

"You sure about that? Y'see I heard that a big red truck had an unfortunate accident with a tree the other week."

I grimaced. My poor, poor truck. It never saw it coming. Trust me to leave the clutch off. On a hill. Still, it came out better than the tree. No longer driveable but still better. Good old truck.

"So I'm devoid of transport. I'll find another car. What are you going to do about it? Drive me around yourself?"

"Not exactly." He started pulling me around the side of the house and into the drive.

I gasped. "I was wrong. You ARE trying to kill me!"

He chuckled. Standing in Charlie's driveway was my big, beautiful, shiny motor bike. I was torn between hugging him and smacking him. The last time I'd seen that bike was when Charlie called Jake around to pick it up. Since I was forbidden to ride it there was no point in keeping it so Charlie gave it back to Jake. Edward was more than willing to dispose of it to ensure I never got my hands on it again but Charlie was satisfied with the fact that Jake and I appeared to no longer be friends so the likelihood of my getting it back was well, not likely. I remember standing at my bedroom window watching Jake take it way. It sounds silly but I cried. That bike was a symbol of my survival through the darkest hour of my life. When no one else could reach me. Not to mention my only link to Jake when i thought our friendship was over. I glared at him accusingly now.

"I'm sorry Bells, I should never have done that. I was desperate. And hurt. You chose a bloodsucker over me." His voice was bitter.

I squeezed his hand."I never chose Jake. I loved."

He rolled his eyes."Yea yea ,enough of this girly crap. This is me saying sorry." He gestured towards the bike. "Do you accept?"

I looked at him like he was crazy. "Hell yes! But aren't you worried I'll kill myself or go the same way as my truck?"

"Nope, not worried. I have complete and utter faith in you managing to kill yourself," he joked." Nah, seriously Bells, you were getting pretty good. Besides, you don't have to worry about your mortality for much longer right?" He was trying to make light of it.

"Maybe I do," I sighed. All my previous concerns from this morning were back again.

"Then make the most of it." He squeezed me once and kissed my head and then he was gone.

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I showered quickly and changed, eager to be back on my bike again. I had no idea where I would go but that was the point wasn't it? Me alone with my thoughts as usual but this time I could go wherever I wanted. I grinned as I pulled my old torn jeans out of the back of my closet from where they'd been hiding, covered in dirt and bloodstains from my first escapades with Jake. I pulled on my scuffed boots and a hooded jacket, grabbing my keys and wallet before heading out the door.

It was bliss. The freedom, the speed, the complete and utter escape of it all. I hadn't felt so free in ages. I hadn't felt so me. Jake had thoughtfully provided a helmet and it blocked out the noise nicely enabling me to muse in relative quiet as well as no one recognizing me, like cops who would no doubt report back to my dad.

I zoomed through town before hitting the highway. I bypassed the usual trails Jake and I took instead choosing to just go wherever the road would take me. I though vaguely of a destination. I could go to Port Angeles, ride along the waterfront. Past where Edward saved my life for god knows what number of times. I sighed. Edward. Where are you? What are you doing? Thinking? Do you regret your promise? I know I do. I should never had made you promise something you didn't want. I know it's not that you don't want me forever, it's my soul isn't it? I wonder if the werewolves have the same view. Probably not. They don't beat themselves up as much as vampires. It really is a Christian self loathing kind of thing.

I felt strangely close to him out here alone. You'd think I'd feel closer to Jake who supplied me with the damn bike but this bike was also the only connection I had to Edward when he left me. No matter how crazy the voices seemed in retrospect i was just glad there were no voices now. I was really grateful to be alone and think of him without arguments or the confusion I found when he held me in his gaze. The cool air assaulting me as I sped down the road, free as a bird.

The trees are thick and dark lining the side of the road. It creates a kind of avenue with my focal point somewhere in the distance. I'll just keep riding until I run out of gas.

_"Or the road stops..."_

I twisted my head sharply to the side and saw it. A colourless blur through the trees. Keeping pace with me. God knows how long he'd been there. I scowled .You left me alone and now I want to be alone, I think bitterly. I sped up, glancing continuously between the speedometer and him. 80...100...120...he was still there. I knew no matter how fast I went he could match me easily. It was just a matter of how mad I wanted to make him or how much I wanted to risk my life. Neither was a tempting option. But I wasn't going to pull over, I wasn't in the mood for his lectures. And he wasn't getting his hands on my bike. I cut across to the other side of the road, thankfull there was no traffic out here, and into the trees finding a trail Jake and I had taken once. It led to La Push. He wouldn't follow me there. And hopefully I'd be welcome, given my earlier meeting with Jake. I hoped.

He was closer now, i could see him better through the trees to my side, feel the waves of frustration and anger washing off him. I kept my head down. Wouldn't do to hit a tree now would it? How stupid would you look then? Not as stupid as coming over a hill and finding the trail washed out and a large pond in it's place.

"Fuck!" There was a wall of trees on each side. No choice but to hit the brakes and...

And I was standing shakily on my feet, Edward's iron grip around me as I stared at my bike sitting forlornly in the mini lake. I gaped. He laughed.

I wrenched myself out of his arms, fuming. I tore my helmet off. "It's not funny!" I spat, spinning around to glare at him. As usual the first glance between us after being apart smouldered. He was beautiful. So pale he seemed to gleam, smoky eyes that reproached me silently while his rosy lips curled upwards in that ever present smirk.

I knew what I looked like. Flushed, red face, disheveled hair, shaking partly from fear and partly anger. I ignored the urge to run straight back into his arms even as he reached for me and instead spun back around and stomped toward the pond. I groaned as i looked at my bike lying there, defeated. Would it work again? How long would it take Jake to fix this time? Well ,at least he'd have a laugh at my expense. Everyone seemed to be doing that lately. I sighed and started to wade in the water. It was like ice.

"What are you doing? Even if that thing works again you are NOT riding it." His voice brooked no argument but what can I say, my little escapade had brought out a rebellious streak in me.

"Yes, I am." My voice was as cold as the water I was currently waist deep in.

"You could have killed yourself!" He was openly angry now, stalking towards me.

"Then at least one of us would have done the job today!" I regretted it as soon as I said it but I couldn't stop the words. I hadn't realized how angry I was with him until now.

His eyes clouded over, black as pitch and I drew back. "Edward..."

"Where did you get it?" His voice was a low hiss and he was backing away slowly, deliberately.

"Edward, no!" My eyes widened as the realization me. Jake.

He bared his teeth, snarling. "I knew it, I could smell him on you. Filthy dog. I'll kill him."

His eyes flashed at me. And he was gone.

I scrambled to get my bike out of the water but knew I'd be too late. It was only later that I heard the story from Alice.

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Jakes' POV

"Jake get out here!"

"What the hell is it- I'm busy." I walked out of the garage and into the fresh air and that's where it hit me. The scent. The death. He carried it with him everywhere. Bells may not be able to smell it but I can. We can. Already the pack was circling around him, enraged. I fought the urge to change and ran to Sam. He was standing face off with him. The bloodsucker. I knew he was there for me. His eyes flickered towards me and he snarled taking a step...

"Don't move!" Sam's voice was a low hiss but it held authority. This was our land, and Sam was in charge here. And the bloodsucker knew it. He was shaking with fury and the effort to stay in control. I knew it, I felt the same.

He never took his eyes off me. "I want him." He bit out. "Just him."

"Well you can't have him, deadboy," Sam's voice was cool and calm. He knew that one vampire was no match for a whole pack of wolves. "And if you turn right on around we'll just forget this whole thing ever happened." I shouldn't have been surprised at that. Sam was smart, he knew that to kill one would result in a blood war that would kill others.

"Bella..." He hissed in my direction and I could almost taste her on his voice.

Everyone's ears pricked up at this. Bella was still well liked around here, albeit a little less well regarded. They're not the same thing, trust me.

"What about her?" I tried to keep my voice level, calm, but when it came to Bells I found myself drowning in a sea of musical murmurs and soft, dark hair.

"You nearly killed her with that bike!" he roared.

"You gave Bella the bike back?" Sam looked surprised.

"She crashed her truck." I explained.

"All the more reason to not give it to her!"

I winced, maybe not my most brilliant idea but still, there was good intent. And who was he to run her life for her, it was bad enough he was taking it away! "She's a big girl," I shot back." She can make her own decisions and regardless of what they are they're hers to make and I respect them!"

There was a collective intake of breaths as all eyes were back on him. We weren't talking about the bike anymore.

His eyes flashed and I thought he would fly at me but at the last second it was almost like he deflated. "Bella doesn't always know what's good for her."

"I should think Bella more than anyone knows what's good for her," Sam cut in, sharply. "I've never met anyone stronger or smarter. Albeit a little accident prone but..." He sighed. "Bella's decisions are for her and those directly involved."

The bloodsucker looked at him quizzically.

"We don't interfere in free choices." Sam looked like this was the last thing he wanted to say and this was definitely the last thing I wanted to hear. Our threat of taking out the Cullens should Bella be bitten was my last desperate hope that would stop her from taking that last step towards her death. And farther from me.

"I..." He look confused, like there was something he didn't understand. But he seemed to come to his senses."Thank you." Sam nodded in acknowledgment.

He turned to me, accusingly."You love her."

"So do you."

"It's you I'm worried about."

"Funny, I'm worried about her." I smirked. The irony was not lost on me. A werewolf in love with a human in love with a vampire.

"I thought you said she could take care of herself." He wasn't letting that one go.

"But can you take over when she can't?" It was like there was no one else there. It felt vaguely weird, standing there surrounded by my brothers and arguing the finer points of love with a bloodsucker but still, stranger things..."You can't smother her. You can't be responsible for her every second. You have to sense the difference between what she wants and what she needs. When Bella came to me last year with the bikes I knew they were dangerous. But I also knew she was more a danger to herself and she needed something to distract her. I brought the bike back to her now because I thought she would be a feeling a little...overwhelmed. She's smart and she's brave and she can survive on her own but she doesn't have to. And she chose not to be. That's where you come in by the way, smart guy."

"But you still love her."

"I loved her from the first moment I saw her .She was beautiful and fragile and not of this world. I think deep down she knows that and you should trust that she'll make the right choices where that's concerned. She's my best friend..." Dammit, my voice was cracking again. "And I would never stand in the way of her happiness." He looked disbelieving so I shrugged my shoulders in a none too concerned way. "I'll get over it."

Sam snorted and rolled his eyes. "We done here?" He looked from me to the bloodsucker. I nodded. "Good, 'cause I've got more important things to do than supervise this soap opera." He shook his head and everyone started to disperse, myself included. The bloodsucker watched us warily before turning also.

"Oh, and deadboy?" Sam was suddenly right up in his face, twice as large and doubly threatening. His voice was low with an edge of menace. "She's our family too, remember that if you make any 'wrong choices.'"

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I finally got the bike going, relieved that it was ok and that I wasn't going to have to walk home. I doubted that Edward was in his right mind to come get me. I grimaced as I imagined the scene at La Push as I urged the bike on. C'mon...too slow...I was biting my lip the whole way.My heart thudding in my chest.I came to a skidding halt outside Billy's and ran inside.

"Jake! Jake!"

"Hello Bella. Happy Birthday!" I spun around to find Billy wheeling himself up behind me, smiling warmly. I gripped his hands tightly in my urgency.

"Billy, where's Jake? It's an emergency!" As if my screaming didn't get that across.

"Oh Jake, he's gone out for a walk. Needed some fresh air I think. Your 'boy' gave him quite a going over." Billy frowned.

I gasped. "They didn't...are they alright? What happened!"

"Hey Bella, Happy Birthday!" Sam Uley was standing in the doorway now grinning. Why were all these people grinning? Didn't they know they world was ending!

"Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on!"

Sam chuckled. "Sit down Bella, calm down." He frowned. "You're wet."

"I'll get you a towel." Billy trundled off down the hallway as I sank into a chair exhausted.

"Fine," I glowered up at Sam," Play you're cryptic games if you like. Just tell me, is Jake alright?"

"Perfectly Fine."

I bit my lip." And Edward?"

"Ditto." He lowered himself in the chair opposite mine, propping his chin up in his hand as he leaned on the kitchen table.

I sighed. The world was against me. Billy came back then with a towel and wrapped it around my shoulders.

"Thank you," I eyed the two of them warily. "So what happened?" I wasn't letting this go without a proper explanation.

"Not much," Sam shrugged. "Your boy came, got a bit angry at Jake over the whole bike thing, they snapped at each other for a bit and then he left."

I raised my eyebrow disbelievingly.

"Differences between men work out easier than women," Billy explained."Especially our 'kind' and other sorts. We like to clear the air. We dislike complications. It makes our difficult existence all the more so."

I wasn't getting this at all. I put my head in my hands.

"It doesn't do to get so worked up on your birthday Bella. How old are you anyway?" Sam was looking at me, head tilted to one side as though trying to guess.

"I'm nineteen."

"Too young to die." Billy mused shaking his head.

"Hush," Sam chided him. "We've been through this already. It's her choice and it's not going to be a problem regarding us now, is it?" He looked at me intensely, scrutinizing my face.

"No," I gulped. Why did I feel like I was constantly being scolded lately? If it wasn't Charlie, it was Edward, if it wasn't Edward, it was Jake, if it wasn't Jake it was Billy. And now Sam. Too many men in my life I mused.

I also didn't get why they were so calm about me changing. They obviously knew. "Jake said things were changing around here," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Sam and Billy exchanged glances and I could see that Billy was not exactly happy with whatever these changes were.

I sighed."Fine, whatever, keep your secrets. I'm in no mood to care today. But I'll be back." Sam laughed while Billy continued to frown.

I pushed back my chair, suddenly wanting to get home and curl up on the couch and eat a whole heap of crap food. Now that i could see Jake and Edward hadn't torn each other apart i was somewhat satisfied. This had been my most exhausting birthday so far. No more please. Another reason for Edward to get on with it.

"Tell Jake I'll be by soon,ok? And...thank you. Both of you." There were multiple implications there and I trust that they got them because I didn't have the energy to get into it right now. But I think they did. Sam grinned and Billy nodded.

"Need a ride home? I don't think Charlie will fancy you roaring home on that thing." Sam smirked while Billy scowled.

"Thank, but no thanks. Charlie's working late tonight." I waved wearily and walked outside to where my bike was waiting.

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I'd barely made it in the door after stowing my bike securely in the backyard where Charlie wouldn't notice it for a few days, when the phone rang. I nearly tripped over in a race to get to the kitchen in the dark.

"Hello?"

"Bella!" Jake's deep voice sounded both worried and guilty. "I was hoping you were home, are you ok?"

"Well considering I've just had the most exhausting birthday of my life chasing vampires and werewolves all over Forks whilst simultaneously trying to avoid them, I'm not doing too bad Jake." I let out a frustrated laugh.

"I'm sorry Bells. I didn't want to cause trouble between you and him. I just wanted to make you happy."

"It's ok Jake, I can't be mad at you for trying to make me happy. Besides, the trouble was already there," I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice as I noticed a dark shadow in a corner of the darkened room. I eyeballed it before speaking into the phone again."Look, I'm really tired and so over this day, I'll talk to you later alright?"

"Sure Bells, take care. And Happy Birthday."

"Bye Jake." I hung up and leant my head against the cool wall. "Is a happy birthday really too much to ask for?" I murmured.

"We all have different views on happiness." I felt him move away from the wall and come to stand beside me. His fingertips ghosting across my hair.

I raised my eyes to meet his and they pierced the very depths of my soul. He took my warm hands in his cold ones.

"We need to talk."

TBC...


	2. Talking

Disclaimer- I own nothing associated or affiliated with Twilight. These are the property of Stephenie Meyer and no copyright or offense is intended. You can't sue me for the inner-worst workings of my mind. Honest.

I was going to update this a lot sooner, however I'm currently in the process of moving apartments and it's new release time at work so I'm coming home completely bushed. It's so much easier to sit down and read Twilight for the millionth time rather than actually do something that involves mental stimulation and physical movement. Something I'm seriously lacking lately ;)

"Not Really" and "Not Really Means Yes" are terms my partner and I used a lot when we first started going out. We'd use it to avoid hurting each other's feelings rather than saying "Yes" outright to things. After awhile it became a running joke.

Choices

_I raised my eyes to meet his and they pierced the very depths of my soul. He took my warm hands in his cold ones._

_"We need to talk."_

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I was sitting on my bed, playing with the music box Carlisle and Esme had given me for my birthday earlier that day. It was a dark redwood with gold trim and played Brahm's Lullaby when you opened it. Edward was sitting in the rocking chair, where Jasper had sat only that morning, watching me curiously as I opened and closed it. Night had fallen outside and I was tired. A quick glance at Edward confirmed that he was, as is usual for early in the evening, alert and restless.

I just wanted to collapse into unconsciousness.

"Edward," I sighed. "Maybe tonight isn't the best time to talk. I'm really tired and just want to sleep."

He smiled gently at me. "I know, that's fine. We've got tomorrow. And the next day. And the next."

I smiled back. I loved it when he said that. It made me think he really meant forever.

He crossed the floor gracefully and came to rest on the bed behind me, leaning back against the headboard. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. I shivered as I came to rest against his granite chest, more from the intensity of having him so close to me once again than the cold of his undead body. He pulled the blankets over me nonetheless. He started to hum and I felt my eyelids droop almost immediately. I was so tired. Tired from racing all over the countryside, tired from screaming at various peoples, tired from the entirety of my bizarre life. I heaved a sigh and felt his arms tighten protectively as he stopped humming briefly to whisper desperately,

"I'll make it better my love, I promise."

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I didn't wake alone, although I was half expecting too. Lately I'd been learning not to get my hopes up. But he was there, his musical voice resonating in my head before I was even fully conscious.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Not really."

I could practically see him smirking. "Not really means yes."

"Hmmmm..." I groaned and covered my face with my pillow. "Too early for trick questions!" He chuckled and I peeked out, eyes blurry with sleep. "Ask me something simple."

"Do you love me?"

"That's not simple, that's obvious."

"Same thing."

"No it's not."

"Is too."

"Gah, stop tormenting me."

"Look who's cranky this morning." He sniffed.

"I'm allowed to be cranky. It's my birthday."

"No it's not. Your birthday was yesterday. You can't have your birthday everyday and since when do you even like your birthday?"

I sat up and rubbed at my face, stifling a yawn. "Since my lover left me alone on my birthday and is now going to make up for it."

His eyes widened. "Bella..."

"Relax Edward, I don't want you to bite me." I rolled my eyes and climbed out of bed, heading to the door, pecking him softly on the lips on the way. "I am going to have a shower and you are going to put those culinary skills you've been practicing to use and make me breakfast."

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When I got downstairs Edward was in the kitchen cooking. And Charlie was seated at the kitchen table reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee.

"Dad! What are you doing here?"

"Morning Bells! " He reached over to ruffle my hair as I sat down across from him. "Happy Birthday for yesterday, I'm sorry I wasn't here. I was hoping to go in to work late and spend some time with you this morning but it looks like I'm needed at the station. Still, lucky I was here to let Edward in or he'd still be waiting in the rain!" Charlie laughed while I tried to hide my grin. So that explained why Charlie hadn't had a fit when Edward came downstairs.

"Did you get your present?"

"Yeah, thanks a lot dad."

I grinned at him. Edward had his back to us still cooking, so I continued my conversation with Charlie.

"They're working you pretty hard lately, dad."

"You're not wrong," he sighed and his brow creased suddenly. I glanced at Edward who's back stiffened and he turned around, a frypan with eggs in his hand. I had to resist the urge to picture him in a flowered apron. Thank god he couldn't read my mind. He seemed to be reading Charlie's though...

"Something wrong in town, Charlie?"

"Huh?" Charlie looked up at Edward, panicked. "No, no, no. Just a few stores been held up, that's all."

"Was anyone hurt?" Edward's eyes had darkened just the slightest shade and I wondered what this was about.

"No. Not in town."

"Not in this town."

Charlie sighed and ran his hand across his face before replying. "There were a couple of similar robberies in Port Angeles last month. A clerk was shot."

I gasped and Edward spun to face me, his teeth clenched. "You're not working at the Newton's until they're caught."

"The hell I'm not!"

"Bella don't be stubborn. I'm not having you working there while some maniac is running around Forks holding up stores! You could be hurt!"

"I'm not going to get hurt!"

"I don't care! You're not working there!"

"You're not the boss of me!"

"ENOUGH!"

Charlie was on his feet, looking between the two of us, a bewildered expression on his face. "Bella, I don't want you working there either," I opened my mouth to protest but he held up his hand, "-but, I understand you need that job for college so we've stepped up patrols around town and the Newton's store especially. Edward, I think you'll find there are currently more officers dropping in and out of that store on my request than at the actual station itself." Edwards lips were a thin, pale line and his eyes were murderous. This was going to be fun when Charlie left.

"And I think I need to be off now, have fun today kids!" Charlie practically ran out the door.

Great.

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"So where were you yesterday?

We were sitting on the steps of Charlie's back porch, Edward and I, just as Jake and I had been the day before. Every now and then Edward's nose would twitch in displeasure and I found myself trying not to giggle.

"Just walking."

"Where?" I had to know what he'd been doing all day. What with deserting me and all.

"In the woods."

"Did you go to the meadow?"

"Yes." He squeezed my hand and smiled at me, that crooked grin I loved so much.

"Will you take me again someday?" I never went by myself anymore, not since he came back. It felt rather intrusive. I thought maybe he liked having somewhere to go to be alone, sometimes.

"Maybe..." He was frowning again, staring off into the distance. Suddenly he was on his feet, quicker than I could see, and pacing the yard. It was raining slightly but he didn't seem to mind.

"Are you really not mad at me?"

"No Edward, I'm not mad at you." He looked incredulous so I elaborated. "I understand why you did what you did. Or rather, didn't do. Maybe I'd have done the same, but I don't know, I'm not you. I can't possibly comprehend what this is like for you. Or you for me."

"What do you mean?" He looked confused now.

"Do you know what it's like for me?"

"You mean being human?"

"Partly. Being human and being with you. "

He shook his head at me. "Sometimes I really wish I could read you mind."

"Then shush and let me finish."

He nodded and came to rest at my feet, resting his chin on my knee, gazing up at me with contemplative eyes. I looked away, it was too easy to get lost in those eyes. And if I got lost then I'd never get out what I wanted to say.

"I love you Edward. But you're dead. And I'm alive, for the moment. At least, I think I am. This isn't making any sense!" I laughed dryly and tried to pull my muddled thoughts together.

"Ok, how about I put it this way- This morning when you told me I couldn't work at the Newton's in case I got hurt, fair enough, I can live with that. But where do you stop? I could die getting hit by a car, or falling over and cracking my head open or-"

"-Or crashing into a tree at a million miles an hour on that damn motorcycle?" He was glaring at the shed now.

"Exactly. But what would you do? Hold my hand every time I need to cross the road? Take my bike away from me? That especially would make me sad. Riding my bike makes me happy, makes me feel alive. Just like that time I jumped off the cliff," I hated to bring that up but it was important to my cause and I rushed ahead, ignoring the way his eyes clouded over. " It made me feel alive. You see, a certain someone has exposed me to certain things I never would have been exposed to. Dangerous and exciting things and now I just can't go back to leading a boring and safe life. It wouldn't be living at all. However, if that certain someone who brought all this about in the first place were to do something to make sure I never die doing these things then problem solved."

"Wanting to dive off cliffs and not die is not a reason to become a vampire!" I cringed as he exploded, he never used the 'V' word. I placed my finger against his cool lips and stroked his hair to calm him down while I continued.

" I never said it was. As far as I'm concerned, there is no better reason to die than for love, for us to be together."

"Bella..."

"But, that aside, would you have any objection if the person was no longer alive?"

"If you're saying what I think you're saying-"

"Oh shush! I'm not going to off myself you idiot!" I rolled my eyes. "This is what I meant before, about not being sure if I'm really alive. Edward, you're dead. Your family is dead. I spend more time in the company of the dead than the living. Since meeting you I've been exposed to more terrifying, otherworldly and beautiful things than I ever dreamed. Not all of it has been good, a lot of it has been downright nasty but the point is, do you really expect me to continue this human charade after what I've seen and experienced? I've been chased all over the country by psychotic vampires and their lovers! I've ridden motorcycles and dived off cliffs with werewolves! I've been targeted by demon child spawn in Italy for god sakes! I'll never be Boring Bella Who Falls All Over Herself from Phoenix again!"

"But that's what I love!" He was grasping my hands, penetrating my soul with his gaze. "I love the way you fall all over yourself, it's cute. Except when you hurt yourself. I love the blush that creeps across your cheeks, the rosy hue that comes out of nowhere..." I could see lust taking over his features, and then just as soon as it appeared, disappearing again beneath his cool facade. "I love how warm you are. And I love your heart beat. I couldn't bear to think of you without these things." He sighed and laid his head against my chest. Said heart was currently thumping unnaturally fast at his declarations but I forced myself not to be swayed. At least not until I had finished.

"That's all well and good Edward, but I think in your unchanging immortal years you're forgetting something. I'm not going to stay this way forever. I'm going to die one day, maybe later rather than sooner but that's the natural course of things where human lives are concerned. And what's going to happen then? You'll follow me? I'm sorry Edward, but no. I will not take you away from your family! I will not do that to them!"

I felt him cringe uncomfortably beneath against me but I ploughed on, nonetheless.

"And what about before that? I'm going to get old. I'm going to get weary and rundown. I could get ill, get a disease, get senile! I know you say that it doesn't bother you but it bothers me! It's not just the vanity, although watching myself age and wrinkle while you remain perfect and unchanging isn't high on my list of things to enjoy with you. Do you think I like not being able to do things with you? If we want to go somewhere it either takes forever or you have to carry me- I will not be carried into old age Edward Cullen! Because believe, me, it's going to get worse! And I don't want it to! It's hard enough already. I want to hide with you when the sun comes out, not spend the day pining away. I want to spend the nights with you, not being watched by you. I want to be able to keep up with you, run with you, play with you, joke around like Alice and Rosalie do with Emmett and Jasper! I want to be able to touch you without restraint. Run into your arms, hold you, kiss you."

I paused and took a deep breath. "I want you to make love to me, Edward."

I heard his sharp intake of breath and looked down into his gleaming topaz eyes.

Focus, Bella. "You can have my heartbeat, Edward. But it comes at the price of us ever being truly one."

He didn't reply. We sat like that for immeasurable hours, holding each other.

Only when the shadows started to lengthen did I realize that we'd been sitting like this for the entire day. Not that I minded. It was a vast improvement on the previous day.

Suddenly Edward was on his feet, gently pulling me up to meet him, his cool lips gently brushing across mine.

"Do you think you can handle sleeping alone tonight?" His eyes were troubled.

"I've done it before," I couldn't resist teasing. It worked, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he smirked.

"See it stays that way, then. At least until I come back." He kissed my forehead and turned to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?" I couldn't suppress my curiosity as to what was taking him away from me, albeit temporarily.

He paused before squeezing my hand reassuringly.

"I need to talk to Rosalie."

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	3. Conversations with Rosalie

Disclaimer- I own nothing associated or affiliated with Twilight. These are the property of Stephenie Meyer and no copyright or offense is intended. You can't sue me for the inner-worst workings of my mind. Honest.

Sorry there have been no updates for awhile, moving apartments sucks.

Anyway, this chapter will be told from Rosalie's POV. Enjoy!

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Choices- Conversations with Rosalie

"Rose..."

I was laying across the couch in the living room simultaneously reading a magazine and watching the television when Alice came weaving down the stairs, her voice wafting towards me like some portent of doom. Where she was concerned it usually was.

"Edward's on his way home." There was the doom.

"And that means what to me...?" I had one eye on her and one on an article about street bikes vs sport bikes. It's so hard to decide sometimes, looking good or going fast?

"He wants to talk to you."

"About what?" My gaze flicked back to the tv, I get distracted easily, but it makes me a great multitasker. There was some guy making a foody thing, there was a lot of flour and he was gesturing erratically with many pointy and violent looking utensils. The tv is always tuned into the bloody cooking channel lately. Now that Edward wants to cook for Bella. Barf much?

"About Bella."

I should have guessed. I sighed and returned my attention to Alice. When it came to Edward and Bella it was best to shut up, look out and hang on. At least where I was concerned.

"What about her? I haven't done anything. Lately." Honestly, I'd been rather amicable I thought. I was quite proud of the fact that I was able to treat her so, normal. People tend to think I'm rather selfish and inflexible, hard to believe isn't it?

"I actually have not the foggiest idea." Alice was leaning against the bannister, frowning slightly.

"Well how do you see this 'talk' going, dear sister of mine?" I rolled my eyes at the mock endearment.

"Well now see, that's the interesting bit!" Alice pushed herself off the staircase and joined me on the couch, my magazine now long since forgotten.

"Do enlighten me, the suspense is killing me." I threw in a yawn for good measure. She smacked me.

"I can tell. Just take a little more interest when talking with Edward. I know that's asking a lot from you but this is something big, and you're important to it."

"I don't even now what 'it' is!" Honestly, ask much?

"I just know what you're like, that's all."

"Any way to get out of this?" I really wasn't looking forward to whatever this was about.

"Nope, he's here."

I sighed and pushed myself off the couch, brushing some imaginary lint off my clothes in a failed attempt at nonchalance.No one gets to me like Edward. "I'll be in the car."

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"Even people like us shouldn't take their hands off the wheel whilst driving this fast."

"We're not people, Edward." I rolled my eyes at him, but put my hands back on the wheel nonetheless. We were in my car, driving north along the highway, the top was down and my hair was streaming behind me. The forest lining the road was a greenish blur and there were precious few other cars on the road so I felt comfortable keeping my speed up. Edward had been silent thus far, at least. But that was making me more nervous than if he'd actually been yelling at me for something or other. When I walked outside to my car earlier he'd already been there, waiting in the passenger seat. He didn't appear to be reading my thoughts either, just staring pensively ahead as I gunned the engine, trying to elicit some kind of response. He didn't say anything as I got in, nor until we were out of Forks. The comment on my driving was the first he'd made. But he was getting a little wound up about driving lately, I'd noticed.

"Have you ever considered a motorbike?" I wasn't expecting that, although I had been considering it...

"Why? Bella not allowed hers anymore?" I teased. He growled and looked out to the side. I sighed, so it was going to be like that was it? Fine.

_C'mon Edward, just get on with it already. Some of us have things to do today._

He raised an eyebrow at me before starting. "If you could have had a choice, what would you have wanted to change. Before you were, changed, I mean."

"Oh for Christ sakes Edward! We are NOT having this conversation with me! N.O. No!" _That's it, I'm turning the car around._

"No, don't. It's just a question."

"A loaded question! I am NOT getting involved in this. You want to change Bella then go ahead, you've already heard my views on this. Go talk to Carlisle or Alice. They're all for it."

"That's exactly why I'm coming to you. You're opposed to it and I want to know your reasons."

"Don't you have enough reasons of your own? What's happened, Bella find another way to lose her soul and now you're feeling giving?"

"Bitch."

"You wanted honesty, that why you came to me."

"People come to you for hairstyling tips and vapid conversation."

"Touche.' So what are you doing here then?"

"Obviously, I made a mistake in thinking there was an intelligent person in you somewhere but I guess I should just trust my instincts when they they're screaming "Vacuous Tramp!" at me."

"Alright that's it!" I swung the car around and pulled up fast, turning in my seat to face him. "I did not come here to put up with your whiny, hormonal crap, Edward! So stop taking your melodramatic problems out on me and get the fuck out."

He didn't move. He was smirking at me. I can't stand it when he does that, he looks so smug and thinks he's so superior well I can fix that...

I'm not usually a violent person when it comes to my siblings but...CRACK!

"You bitch! What the hell was that for?" Edward was currently picking himself up off the side of the road. "You hit me! What are you psycho?"

Now it was my turn to smirk. "You were asking for it. Pull any of that shit again when you're asking for my help and I'll give you an ass kicking you won't soon forget."

He nodded, conceding my point, standing awkwardly on the side of the road, rubbing his nose. Funny if i broke it.

_Get in._ I rolled my eyes and leaned over to open his door but he jumped over it and slid down in his seat.

_Watch the leather_, I cautioned.

I started the engine and began cruising down the highway again.

"You didn't answer the question."

"What question?"

"Don't be difficult."

"Why shouldn't I be?" I was enjoying being bratty.

"Would you have wanted someone to make it easier on you if the option was there?" It didn't work so well when he was being all serious though.

I sighed. "Fine."

"Tell me why you're opposed." His gleaming eyes were on me and I found it rather unnerving. Me and Edward. Having a serious conversation. Weird.

He laughed suddenly, "I know, I feel it too."

I laughed with him. No one had better hear about this.

'So, tell me."

"What do you want to know exactly?"

"Anything. Everything. Why don't you think this is a good way to live?"

"Are you blind or something? Have you seen how we live? We eat animals! Live ones! We drink their blood, Edward! That's real appealing. I'm sure I'm not the only one who would rather eat a Big Mac." Had he been going through the last century with complete sensory deprivation?

He snorted. "You don't even know what a Big Mac tastes like. And you wouldn't eat one anyway. It's full of fat."

"But you'd like the option wouldn't you? Why the hell would someone give up real food in favour of animal blood?" The thought boggled me.

"Just humour me, ok?"

_That's all I ever do._

"I heard that."

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"So basically, it was the little things." We were stopped now, pulled into some rest area off the road, surrounded by trees and the coming night. He was laying across the hood of my car and I was lying with my seat pushed all the way back, making shapes out of the dark clouds that moved sluggishly overhead.

"Yes and no. I mean, I could take the not eating and sleeping ok, that you get used to. I mean there are people with those conditions."

"There are not people who can't eat or sleep, Rose." I could hear the smirk in his voice but chose to ignore it. Smarty pants.

"Whatever. Insomniacs or something. Anyway, it's the fact that it all hits you at once, the little things and the big things and you don't even have a chance to get used to it. It's just FOOMP! Here's your crappy new life. No eating, no sleeping, no heartbeat, no sunlight, no friends, an eternity of _your_ moping and oh yea, the fact that we want to kill people!"

"We don't want to kill people, Rose. At least I don't. I hope you don't!"

"You know what I mean, you twit. It's our natural instincts. It's hard to suppress that everyday. Not to mention sucking down animal blood is sooooo not right. I mean, those things aside, any human would jump at the chance right? Eternal life. Superhuman strength. But who wants to live forever if it's not really living? Edward?"

He'd jumped of the car and was striding towards the treeline, stopping when he reached it, his voice calling back to me, over his shoulder. "So you're saying, we're not really living?"

Something was wrong. I sat up, frowning at his back. _What is it?_

"Just...answer the question, Rose."

"O-k...Well, I'm not saying we're not living, I'm saying that from a basic perspective there's nothing appealing about it. What kind of existence is it when you can't even integrate with the rest of the world? You can't do anything for fear of giving yourself away, can't associate with people, you basically become this hollow shell, wandering aimlessly with no purpose, no meaning. Nothing to look forward to, no real excitement or lust for life as they say. I mean, what's the saying- 'a life without love is no life at all.'"

He turned suddenly, a ridiculous grin plastered across his face, "Rose, I could kiss you right now!" And for one horrifying moment I thought he was going to.

"Um, no because Bella would stake me."

He laughed then became serious again. "Given the chance over..."

"Would I or wouldn't I? Well, there's the thing, I didn't have a choice in the matter. Don't get me wrong, I don't resent Carlisle for what he did, he was doing what he felt was right at the time and now I'm grateful."

"Grateful? But you hate this life."

"Before, I did. Before when I had nothing, when I was getting used to the idea of eternity, or rather trying to run screaming from it. I still am. Getting used to it, i mean. And yes, i am envious of Bella. But most of that was before. Before i had...some things."

"Like what."

_Never mind._

He laughed. "C'mon Rose !"

_Go away._

"Puh-lease!"

_I'm not listening._

"I'll ask Emmett."

_Emmett._

"Oh."

_Dammit._

"Awwwwww! Our ickle Rose loves her Emmett more than anything! Even being human!"

"I so hate you right now."

"But you see where I'm coming from now, don't you?"

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

"Bella loves me more than anything. Including being human. And the feeling is mutual. With Bella, i forget who i am. What i am. Before I met Bella I was that drifting, meaningless existence. And without her, I'd have nothing to live for once again. And neither would she."

"May God save us from teenage vampires in love!" I clasped my hands and looked to the sky imploringly.

"You're one to talk."

"Yea, yea, yea," I waved him off, dismissively. "So, what you're saying is she doesn't want to be a vampire- she wants to be with you."

"Yes!"

"God why?"

"Bitch."

"I was kidding, you know, joke? You're gonna have to lighten up dude." Honestly, didn't Bella know what she was getting herself into?

"Grumble."

"So why haven't you done anything yet. Seeing as you obviously have a fairly good grasp of this whole thing."

"Because I don't think she quite grasps exactly what giving up her human life entails."

"And I'm helping this how?"

"I didn't get much of a chance to live when I was, well, alive. You did. And you miss it. I need to understand that and try to make the transition a little easier for her when it happens."

"So you're definitely going to do it then?"

"Mmm-hmmmm."

"Geez Edward, and here we all thought you'd never put out!"

"Har har."

"What changed your mind?"

"Lets just say we had a little discussion not too far from these lines."

"What about, you know, the 'soul' thing?" I hated to bring it up. Much as it pained me to say it, I liked seeing him happy. He was my brother after all.

He grew pensive once again. "I'm still working on that."

Oops, change of subject. "Does she know?"

"That I'm changing her? No. I'm still not_ entirely_ decided upon the matter. There is still one other person I need to consult."

"Carlisle?"

"No."

"But might I ask, dear brother, how exactly do you plan to use this information I have so gracefully provided to make the transition easier, as you put it?" Even I had to admit my curiosity was piqued.

"Lets just say Bella has to agree to a few simple terms and conditions first."

"Make it sound like a contract why don't you. You're so romantic, Edward." I pressed the back of my hand to my forehead and started to sway. "I think I'm about to swoon, catch me!"

"This is serious Rose."

"Mmm-hmmm."

"Stop smirking."

"Make me."

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"Drop me at Bella's place." We were back in Forks now, night had fallen and I was exhausted. Edward, on the other hand, looked rather apprehensive.

"It's a bit late isn't it?" I teased. "Maybe I should just take you home. Maybe she needs a chaperone in future."

"I don't want to talk to her." Well, I wasn't expecting that.

I raised my eyebrows but he wasn't going to elaborate. I shrugged and deposited him in the Swan's driveway. There was a single light on in the downstairs of the house, and I could see the tv light flickering. Edward knocked and after a few moments Chief Swan answered. In his pyjamas. I stifled a laugh as I pulled out of the driveway, but not before I heard Edward offer up his excuse for calling so late-

"Charlie, I need to ask you something..."

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	4. Nocturnal Confessions

Disclaimer- I own nothing associated or affiliated with Twilight. These are the property of Stephenie Meyer and no copyright or offense is intended. You can't sue me for the inner-worst workings of my mind. Honest.

I am just not getting the time to write here!

So, someone mentioned in the last chapter that Edward wouldn't really say 'Bitch' and maybe that is OOC for him but I like to think that Rosalie can get under his skin so much that it brings out his less restrained side. God knows there are people who do that to me! lol

This chapter will be told from Bella's point of view once more and takes place on the same day of the previous chapter. Enjoy!

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Choices

"Bella! You have a visitor!" Charlie's voice barrelled up the stairs, shattering the relative quiet of the evening and causing me to jerk out of my semi-slumber. It was only early evening but I'd found myself dozing as I lay across my bed, still dressed in my clothes, flicking through a dozen or so books that had arrived in that day's mail. Seeing as Forks lacked a bookstore I'd learnt to take advantage of my crappy internet connection and my recently acquired credit card and was now a happy patron of mail order.

The pounding of feet sounded on the stairs and I hurriedly straightened my clothes and hair in a vain attempt to make myself not look like I'd just got out of bed. Who the hell was here to see me? It wasn't Edward, he most certainly did not thunder up the stairs and Charlie would never announce him like that, no matter how civil he'd become towards Edward of late.

My question was answered as two seconds later Jacob Black appeared in my bedroom doorway, hovering uncertainly just outside. Huh, it seemed chivalry and respect for a woman's personal space wasn't dead. Yet. If Edward ever got around to changing me, would all such barriers between us suddenly fall? I couldn't imagine Edward being any less chivalrous.

I pulled myself out of my pointless thoughts and back to reality.

"Jake! What are you doing here?"

"Well, I'm currently experiencing Deja' vu. We aren't gonna have to go over this again are we?"

"Well, I dunno, " I teased. "It's not my birthday so I'm perplexed as to what would bring you all the way over here."

" Are you saying I need an excuse to see you? I'm hurt Bells, really hurt!" He clasped his hands over his heart and staggered back in mock pain.

I laughed and beckoned him into my room where he sat awkwardly beside me on my bed. He was a little larger than life, in more ways than one and his presence in my tiny bedroom was a little overwhelming.

"So, you just thought you'd drop all the way over here to say 'Hi'?" I wasn't buying it.

"Hey, 'all the way over here' is nothing to someone like me, remember?"

How could I forget?

"Although..." Here it came.

"We're having a sorta get together thing tonite and I was wondering if you wanted to come."

Well, I wasn't expecting that.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Don't make me ask twice, Bells." He pushed me, playfully, but I almost went sprawling anyway. "Party. La push. You coming?"

"Whose party?"

"No one in particulars. It's just Sam got a bit concerned when I told him what you said about the other guys being a bit weirded out around home about, you know, so he figured a nice big get together would help everyone relax a bit."

"So this isn't a werewolf only party?"

"Nope. And it would probably do for you to not throw that word around tonight. Sam's trying to make the normal kids think everything is well, just that. We don't want anyone catching on."

"Awwww, Jake, you are normal!" I gave him a playful push back.

"Says the girl who dates vampires."

"About that..."

"Please Bells, no lectures, ok?"

"You could have been hurt!"

"Pffft! I could have taken him."

"That's not the point! I don't want you two at each other's throats every time you feel like engaging in a bit of hormonal venting." I couldn't believe how he was acting!

"Hey! He came down to my place! He was looking for a fight and he's lucky he didn't get one!"

"What's this?" Charlie peeked his head in the door, wherever he was headed now forgotten at whatever he may have heard in passing.

"It's nothing, Dad."

"Who's been fighting? If there's any fighting I'm dealing with it, I'm the sheriff around here." He stepped into the room, hands on hips, glaring around as though some local hooligan was using my bedroom as a hideout and would come jumping out ready to start a fight at any second.

"Not on the rez, you're not." Jake threw in cheekily.

"Watch that tongue of yours, son," Charlie laughed then grew serious again. "Now really, someone been giving you trouble Jake? Someone from town?"

"Not exactly..."

"Outsiders?"

"Not exactly..."

"Bella? Gimme some help here." Charlie looked imploringly at me but I wasn't going to get into this.

"Sorry dad, I'm in the bad books already."

"Oh geez, it's Edward isn't it?"

Dammit.

"Has he been causing trouble Jake? Starting fights? I swear to god that boy is no good and I'm gonna- "

Jake opened his mouth but I beat him to it.

"Edward turned up at La Push because Jake did something to piss him off!"

Jake looked like he wanted to go off at me but if he did that then he'd have to admit what it was that he did and then he'd have Charlie trying to kill him. It was all in vain however.

"Does this have anything to do with the motorbike in my garden shed?"

Jacob groaned and buried his face in his hands.

"Jake, how could you?"

"I'm sorry Charlie, I just wanted to give her a birthday present!"

"What the hell's wrong with an alarm clock?"

"Um, nothing?" Jake looked confused.

"Dad, they're having a party down at La Push tonite and Jake wants to know if I want to go. If that's alright with you." I threw in quickly in the hopes that it would throw him off. It seemed to work.

"Huh?" He seemed a little confused.

Jake seemed to catch on however. "Sam's waiting outside in my car."

"Sam Uley? Well, that's ok then. The further you are from that bike the better, I 's'pose." He started to wander off down the hall, shaking his head and muttering. "You take care of her Jake!" he called over his shoulder.

"What the hell was that?" Jake rounded on me as soon as Charlie was gone.

"You were about to get Edward in more trouble!"

"But me in trouble is fine?! Hey, what do you mean 'more trouble?'"

"In case you haven't noticed my father and Edward have a rather complicated relationship. Complicated for me in being that it sucks."

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't know."

"Where the hell have you been Jake? The whole town know's the Sheriff hates his daughter's boyfriend."

"What can I say? I'm a lone wolf."

He said it with such a straight face before we both collapsed onto each other with the giggles.

"So? Do you still want me to come?"

"You want to?"

"Well, that depends if you still want me to after I got you in trouble with Charlie."

"Oh, that's cool. I kinda deserved it anyway. Although I didn't expect my best friend to rat me out!"

"Jake..."

"Oh I'm joking! But, what about, y'know...Edward." I could see how hard it was for him to say his name but I was pleased with the effort. I knew that things would never be peachy keen between the Cullens and the werewolves but at least they weren't killing each other. And speaking of Edward...well, I didn't know where he was anyway. Well, I knew he was with Rosalie. _Rosalie._ I couldn't help it, I knew it was ridiculous, but I couldn't help the twinge in my gut as I remembered what he'd said to me earlier that day "I need to speak to Rosalie." I had no idea what he meant by that but either way I couldn't help the jealously creeping slowly throughout my thoughts. She was so beautiful and she was meant for him. Why take me when he could have had her?

_Because I love you_.

Hmmm. That little voice was still hanging around, popping up on occasion. It helped, but it didn't ease the rejection I felt. Either way, I had nothing to do tonite and no one to spend it with.

"Don't worry about it." I smiled and he grinned and grabbed my hand before racing me downstairs.

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"Bella?"

"Angela?"

"What are you doing here?!"

We laughed at the echoes of ourselves before hugging each other tightly.

We sat down on the logs next to the fire and tried to catch up on the last few months out of school. It was cold on First Beach tonight, big surprise, although the fire helped. I looked around at the people gathered around us, some huddled on logs like us, some bizarrely enough mucking about in the shallows of the freezing water and some sitting around playing guitars and singing off key.

"So what are you doing here?" Angela pulled my back to the present.

"Oh, Jake invited me." I pulled him down next to me as he walked past then carrying a box of drinks. "Jake, say hello to my friend Angela. She went to school with me."

"Howdy!" Jake grinned, all flashing white teeth and twinkly eyes and I could swear I saw Angela sway a little where she sat. She regained her composure quickly and grinned back.

"Hi! I think we've met before."

"Oh yea! That was ages ago, when I was just a wee lad!" We all laughed at his bad Scottish accent and he handed us both a drink.

"So, I didn't expect to see you here Angela."

"Oh, my cousin Morgan invited me. We don't see that much of him coz we live on the other side of town and he lives here but how could I pass up such an offer?"

Was I imagining it or were her eyes continually darting back to Jake?

"Oh yea, Morgan!" Jake gestured at a slightly younger kid, with shoulder length hair, sitting near the water with some friends. "He's a cool kid."

I glanced surreptitiously at Jake and raised my eyebrows ever so slightly to which he shook his head. Good, so no werewolves in Angela's family at least.

"Anyway, ladies, I must leave you now, for I have drinks to deliver to the needy. Nice meeting you Angela, see you round sometime." He gave her his trademark wink before departing and this time I was there to catch her when she swooned.

Oh dear.

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The rest of the night passed pretty much in the same manner. Angela bombarded me with questions about Jake, to which I screened carefully before answering. How was I going to explain this to him later?

I met the 'cool kid' Morgan, who seemed to delight in teasing Angela with embarrassing family stories. I was relieved to note that I wasn't the only one to have had to endure forced family bonding and horrendous holidays. This I shared with her gleefully to ease her pain. And maybe a bit of mine.

As well as being the resident drink dispenser, Jake also deposited numerous horrifically burnt hot dogs in our laps throughout the night. I hoped that he hadn't cooked them or else it appeared a cooking lesson may be in order. I baulked at the sudden mental image of Edward in a chef hat and apron teaching Jake to cook.

At one point during the night Angela turned to me and asked, innocently enough, "Where's Edward?"

Sam Uley was nearby, digging through a box of food and I saw him stiffen before resuming his rummaging, albeit ears pricked.

"Um, he's busy tonight. Family occasion."

"Oh." Angela nodded understandingly and Sam ruffled my hair as he walked past.

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I don't know exactly when I fell asleep but when I woke up I had a face full of sand.

"Mmf. Angela?"

"Mmf. Right here. " I looked to my left and saw her, sitting up beside me, brushing sand off her face. "Ugh, it's in my mouth."

My own felt a little gritty and I made a face. "Mine too."

"It's good for you!" A booming voice above us sounded and we looked up, blinking in the dawn light. "Good, healthy sand that."

"Eat sand often do you, Sam?" I pulled myself to my feet and saw several other people in the same position. Crawling slowly to their feet, brushing sand out of places it shouldn't have been.

"You slept like the dead, Bella!" Jake bounded over and helped Angela to her feet. "No pun intended of course."

Sam snorted and even I rolled my eyes.

"I don't get it," Angela yawned.

"I think it's best we get these girls home," Sam smiled. "Before they fall asleep again and inhale half the beach."

'Oh god, I didn't snore, did I?" Angela looked mortified, standing in Jake's arms.

"No, but Bella can provide quite the nocturnal entertainment." Jake quipped. Sam howled with laughter and loped away, holding his sides.

"What the hell did I say?" I hissed at Jake as Angela bent to gather her things.

"On the way home." Jake murmured back. "Got everything?" He beamed at Angela who seemed to have lost her speech faculties and started guiding us up the beach.

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"So."

"Sooooo...?"

"Cold hands, huh?"

"What?"

"With a heart to match?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Were you drinking last night?"

Jake snorted and turned back to face the road. I could see him smirking in the mirror. We'd dropped Angela home, I'd graciously let her have the passenger seat and Jake had gleefully entertained her the whole way home while I tried to nap against the vibrating window. He was overtly cheerful this morning, more to do with Angela I suspected than any particular alcoholic indulgences, I suspected. Although now she was gone he seemed content to irritate me with random confusions as I tried to wake myself up completely. It wasn't working, I was beginning to suspect that some sand had seeped into my brain while I slept.

"You don't even remember, do you?"

I glanced at him quizzically trying to figure out what the hell he was referring to. As far as I recalled I hadn't embarrassed myself to the extent requiring a reminder the next day. Falling over wasn't anything new where myself and my friends were concerned. And i only did it once.

"Here's a hint...'Oh Edward, you're too cold! Bring me a hot water bottle!'" I stared in shock as Jake went off into peals of laughter. I would have been concerned at his lack of concentration to the road if I hadn't so desperately wanted to die there and then.

"I didn't. No. Please, please tell me I didn't." I closed my eyes and shook my head, willing myself to wake up but when I opened my eyes nothing had changed except that now Jake had gone red in the face and tears were streaming down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, but you did! Oh my God! I've never, NEVER laughed so much in my life!"

"You were laughing at me?!" I was horrified.

"We all were!" He took one look at my outraged face and tried, unsuccessfully to stop laughing. All he managed was a sort of muffled bark through clenched teeth that resulted in hiccups all the way home.

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I must have fallen asleep again because when I woke it was morning, well, later morning anyway and the car was stopped. Jake however was snoring in the driver's seat and I realised we were at my house and Charlie was tapping on the window. I rolled it down and leaned out, rubbing my eyes.

"Morning dad."

"Morning Bell's. Have fun?"

"Yea, it was cold though. Angela was there."

"Angela Weber?"

"Yea. Jake dropped her home earlier." He was still snoring contentedly away and I had to restrain the urge to smack him upside the head while I had the chance in an attempt to quell my irritation at his making fun of me.

"He looks worn out."

"I don't think he slept much last night."

"Bella, you have sand in your hair..."

"Oh god, I fell asleep on the beach and when I woke up it was like I'd sleepwalked the whole beach. It was in my mouth too."

"That's gross, Bells." Charlie screwed up his face.

"Has Edward been by?"

"What? No. No, no. Nope haven't seen him." Charlie's face flushed a violent red as he shook his head emphatically, refusing to meet my frowning face.

"Dad, what are..."

"Mff. There's no more drinks!" Jake shifted in his seat, waving impatiently at someone in his sleep. I raised an eyebrow while Charlie snorted in amusement. It seemed I wasn't the only person who talked in their sleep.

"What's he talking about?"

"I don't know," I giggled before leaning over and shaking him gently. "Jake. Jake wake up, we're home."

"Mmmf! I'll have eggs and bacon please." Another wave and then he attempted to bury his face into his armpit. Even I couldn't help laughing.

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Bring him inside and he can have eggs." He wandered back up the drive and into the house, still chuckling.

Which was just as well, because at that moment a shiny, silver Volvo pulled up.

"Oh Jesus."

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End file.
